Thank G-d, I can't say that I have ever panicked, as I did today, often in my life. Facing a computer screen with verbal and quantitative GRE* test questions, I froze. Despite spending two days studying intensely (okay, not enough I know), I was unprepared for the trial that lay before me. Mind you, this is a retake. It was as though the exam dropped out of the sky like a space alien. How is that possible?
Truth be told, I think I would have preferred a space alien close encounter to what I ended up with. When it was over, it wasn't over for me. I felt sick to my stomach, the kind of sick you feel after nearly getting into a car accident. I had failed myself. Technically, I needed a score 30 points higher than before and I got it. So I didn't actually fail completely. But I wanted a higher score. This is the part where you have to say, let go, let G-d. The One Above knows the plan. Unfortunately, I had to say let go, let G-d twice today about the same thing - once before it started and now afterwards. Oy. It's a good thing G-d knows the plan. I just hope it works!
*Graduate Record Examination