I was fine then, putting Devorah on the bus, making sure she sat with a friend. She looked happy. Her best friend's mother did the same, and came to stand by my side as we watched the bus load up. She couldn't take it, felt she was going to throw up, and couldn't understand why her daughter was so calm about it all.
Ha, I thought. No big deal. I've sent plenty of kids away for the summer and never felt a thing.
But pizza night at Bubbie's was missing something really big: my daughter. I feel like crying right now and it's crazy. I mean, I literally sent my boys at about the same age across country, on airplanes by themselves, and was okay. My baby is only two hours away and I can't take it.
When my daughter's best friend's mom called me later today to say she was having a hard time, I confessed that I was not that happy either and can't wait for visiting day. Two whole weeks from now I can see my daughter, hug her and pretend like everything is fine.
I've got some practicing to do.