I keep telling myself that I need to lose weight (and I do), and have tried to reduce my caloric intake. Then along comes Rosh HaShanah, a two-day long eating fest, which then rolls over into Shabbat, and there you have it. Basically, the tools to undermine any diet regime.
So I looked forward to today's fast day, Tzom Gedaliah, an homage to the last decent governor of Judea during Babylonian rule who was assassinated by outside instigators intent on disrupting the calm that existed then. It worked.
To commemorate this brave man who refused to hide when warned of his guests bad intentions, Jews fast. It's like a gift so soon for the food-letting that tends to mark our holidays. Or so I thought.
I woke up at 5:15 am this morning, just 15 minutes before fast began, thinking maybe I can choke something down. I couldn't bring myself to eat any food. Maybe it was too early, maybe it was took dark outside. Who knows - it felt great to climb back into bed.
So here I sit, no food or water for hours, and all I can do is dream of the past few days. The bread, the cake, the other food. Thank you Gedaliah for being true to yourself. Now I have have to be true to myself.