Where Do I Begin?

There is no beginning to heartache. And that's how I feel right now. Not 30 minutes before Shabbat I learned that the 23-year old recently engaged son of a member of my congregation died Erev Shabbat after scuba diving. This will be the FIFTH child this couple will have buried in the last 18 years.

I've cried, I've screamed Ad Motsei! (Enough) and cried again. The young man is gone, no doubt taking his seat under the Throne of Glory, since Erev Shabbat, the gates of gehinom are closed. It's the parents that I, and many of my friends, worry about now.

Dear Hashem, in all His glory, I beg of you. For all of us who remain in these last few moments before redemption, please allow these two people who have suffered so, to smile again, to laugh again, to live a normal life. Amen.

My Office

I got to school early this morning, put my bike away in its locker, and headed for my office on the third floor of the library. When I got to the library's entrance 5 minutes before it opened, I told the guard on duty that I needed to go to my office upstairs.

Without a flicker of a smile, the guard informed me that I didn't have an office, I had a cubicle.

Excuse me, I thought to myself, but the walls of my office extend nearly to the ceiling, and the DOOR locks, leaving my completely enclosed, with no one else in sight.

I smiled and I told her it was my office. "Cubicle," she responded. I leaned in real close. "I like to call it my office," I told her. "It makes me feel big."

I then turned on my heels and headed upstairs. To my office.

I Did It

Well, I did it. I picked up a penny off the floor of the bookstore. Perhaps the spell is broken. I can now walk free and not see another penny, laying there motionless, waiting for me.

Dear G-d,

Whatever I did to deserve penny penance, please forgive me. If it is Your will that I pick up pennies, then so be it. I'm here for you. Just do me a favor. Be here for me!

L, Nana

"Find a penny, pick it up. All the day you'll have good luck."

I Hate To Wait

People in cold climates, ignore my rant. Because it is so hot here, it's made the record books.

Seriously, 97-degree Fahrenheit is not normal for the 3rd of November. Sure, the big joke is we can spend Hanukkah on the beach, but this is sick. Everyone is miserable. There's no avoiding the searing sun unless you stay inside. ALL DAY.

My friend Vickie and I decided to get some free help from the research department here at Cal State. We waited a half hour before giving up. There was no sign up sheet, no indication that help was forthcoming any time soon. I just lost my patience.

After we retired back to my cubicle/office, Vickie, wilting quickly, looked and me and said, "at least it was air conditioned."

Yes, thank G-d is was air conditioned. Any wonder why my brain was fried today?

Brain Drain

Today, my brain was tired. I managed to drag the rest of my body around, but found I had a hard time focusing on what I needed to do. My mind was just not working.

Which really isn't the way I should spend the one longest day of the week in school. What a bummer. Least I spent it with the people I love to be around - Maria, Moav, Vickie and the gang. But seriously, I need to get productive!

Am I Getting Paranoid?

Okay, so I mentioned before that G-d speaks to me and I get the message and usually change my ways or whatever. But there's another message coming at me and I can't figure it out at all.

For the past month I've been seeing pennies on the ground. Everywhere I look, there's a penny. On the sidewalk, in the street, near the stairs. You name the place, and chances are I'll find a penny there.

Now, I won't pick them up on principle. I hate all those Jews and a penny jokes, and they've scarred me for life. I had a reprieve a few years back, when a Catholic professor I worked for told me he always picks up coins on the ground. But lately, I get that icky feeling every time I see a penny laying there. In wait.

I was motivated to write this today because of the last straw: I was riding my bike and saw a brand new, shiny penny in the road, just crying out to me.

Okay, Holy One, I promise to pick up the next penny. I promise to work on my fears and disgust of the stereotypical Jew pinching pennies and pick them up. Please, give me strength I need to make it happen!

Dearest Debbie

It's truly a gift to have one great friend. In this regard, I have been blessed with much more. But one friend in particular needs an honorable mention. That friend is Debbie.

When my sister said she could not attend my son's Bar Mitzvah kiddush, I was very sad. Debbie sent me one of her funny emails that night and I wrote her back with my tale of woe. She responded immediately, offering to do whatever needed to be done. In other words, act like a sister.

Debbie came dressed to kill on Shabbos, looking amazing. In fact, she looked like the Bar Mitzvah's mother, which made me feel glad that one of us had thought to dress up. I had asked her to sit beside me during the meal, and there she was, entertaining everyone at the table while I sat there, overwhelmed. My mother-in-law mentioned to me afterwards how cute she thought Debbie was, and had also appreciated her upbeat, kind manner.

So here's a shout out to you, Debbie. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart.